The Way I Say I'm Sorry
by KawaiiTenshi27
Summary: MWPP era, Third Year. A side story for A Tale of Two Puppies. Sirius is still upset about something he saw, but can't sleep without apologizing. Slashy hints, if you want to see them.


**Disclaimer:** I own nothing.

**Warning:** Oneshot. A spin-off (in a way) from _A Tale of Two Puppies_ – you really ought to read ToTP first, as this particular scene is a direct run-off from the last scene in Chapter 8 – Sumus Primi. This scene takes place during the winter break of the Marauders' third year, right after Chapter 8 of ToTP (so, it's well before Chapter 9). Hints of future slash, if you're looking for that sort of thing. : winks: Sirius's POV.

**The Way I Say I'm Sorry**

Sirius turned over in his bed for what felt like the millionth time. He simply could not sleep. Every time he closed his eyes, all he could see was that redheaded _girl_ all over Remus.

_I _knew_ it was dangerous to let him spend so much time alone with her,_ he thought moodily, glaring up at the canopy over his bed. _It finally turns out I was right all along and what does he do? He goes and gets angry at _me_! He can't even just let me be upset with him._

That was the real problem, Sirius knew. The real reason he was unable to sleep, despite the late hour and a busy day of snowball fights on the grounds. Not only had Remus clearly been upset that morning, but the brunet had completely ignored both Sirius and James for the rest of the day, spending it instead with stupid _Lily Evans_. And then, to top it all off, the amber-eyed boy had quite pleasantly returned James's evening valediction, but had pretended not to hear Sirius's simple, "G'night, Rem."

Traitor that James was, he had pointedly asked if Sirius still had a stash of chocolate in his trunk or if he wanted to use that new passageway behind the statue of the humpbacked old witch to sneak into Honeydukes to restock. Sirius had grumbled that he had plenty of chocolate, thank you very much, not that he needed it for any particular reason.

Sirius had then, subtly of course, inquired whether or not James was upset by the blatant snog-fest they had interrupted that morning.

James had, not so subtly, informed Sirius that it hadn't been a 'snog-fest,' they'd barely even been kissing, and they'd only done that much because they'd been caught under the mistletoe, which could happen to anyone. He'd also, even less subtly, reminded Sirius that _Lily_ and Remus were good friends; Remus would have told them if it were more than that. He trusted Remus, James had added, didn't Sirius? And didn't Sirius have a girlfriend of his own to worry about?

Sirius had snapped that he _didn't_ have a girlfriend, Natasha was just _there_ and he couldn't seem to get rid of her.

James had retorted, more than a little sarcastically, that Sirius hadn't been trying very hard, before wondering, with a warning glare, whether Sirius was upset that Remus was kissing someone, that _Lily_ was kissing someone, or that _Remus_ was kissing _Lily_.

Sirius had changed the subject rather abruptly, but now, as he turned over yet again, he realized he didn't know the answer to James's question. He certainly didn't give a hoot if Lily Evans decided to snog half the school, but he wasn't sure if it bothered him that Remus was kissing Evans, or if it bothered him that the other boy had been kissing anybody.

'_You're just jealous he was the first among our merry band of brothers to feel the gentle touch of a fair maiden's lips against his own,'_ James had said, but there had been a funny sort of look in his hazel eyes that told Sirius he was thinking something else. Sirius hadn't had much time to think about the Funny Sort of Look, however, because James had then proceeded to wax horribly-and-not-so-poetical on the virtues and wonders of the gentle touch of said fair maiden, and all of Sirius's concentration had been taken up with trying to convince himself it really wasn't in his best interest to kill his friend, and Azkaban surely was _not_ better than listening to a recitation of All Things Lily Evans.

_Bloody Lily Evans,_ Sirius thought, and punched his pillow rather more viciously than was strictly necessary to get it into a more sleep-conducive shape.

Fifteen minutes later Sirius gave up on sleep. He crawled out of his bed and tip-toed to his trunk.

It took some digging before his fingers connected with the bag that contained his chocolate stash. A wave of guilt swept over him as he pulled it out. He hadn't needed it in a while, not since – not since before that night following the full moon nearly two months ago…

He sighed silently then delved into the bag, looking for the largest piece he had. He returned the bag to his trunk, feeling that uncomfortable wave of guilt again as he saw it on top of his clothes and books, and, a little defiantly, closed the lid and locked it. Then, large bar of dark chocolate in his hand, he crept towards his friend's bed.

He hesitated for a moment just outside Remus's bed curtains. It wasn't that he was worried the other boy might not accept either the chocolate or the apology – he always did, no matter what Sirius had done to upset him – but he somehow felt that he ought to do something more. The problem was, he couldn't think of anything else to do. Apologizing was hard enough, he'd found that he could barely even do that properly for most people, though he'd discovered that there was something about his brown-haired friend that made him genuinely ashamed of some of his actions.

He parted the drapes and slid inside, sitting on the edge of the bed.

"Remus?" he whispered. He reached over to lightly shake the smaller boy's shoulder, and his hand glided gently up the bare arm of its own accord before resting on the clothed shoulder.

Remus's skin rippled slightly under his touch.

"I'm awake, you know," the brunet's low, husky voice murmured. "I know better than to fall asleep before we've properly made up."

"I really am sorry," Sirius told him. "I just…" he topped. He was still unsure what it was exactly that had upset him – was still upsetting him. "I'm sorry," he said again. He held out the candy bar. "I brought you some chocolate."

Remus gave a low laugh and shadows bent as he sat up. "Of course you did."

Their fingers brushed as Remus took the offering.

Sirius shivered, but it wasn't from the cold. In fact, it was very warm within the cave of Remus's bed curtains. Sirius wondered vaguely if Remus had used a warming charm, but he didn't think it had been quite so heated only moments before.

There was a crackle of wrapping foil being removed, then a sharp _snack_ as the bar was broken in half.

"Here," Remus pressed one piece into Sirius's hand and Sirius's body tingled again.

The warm smell of chocolate permeated the heated air as they ate in companionable silence. Sirius suddenly felt exhausted.

"Thank you for the chocolate, Siri," Remus whispered after the sweet was gone and several moments had passed.

This was when Sirius was supposed to go back to his own bed to sleep, but he felt quite loathe to leave.

"Is something wrong?" Remus asked uncertainly after another long moment had passed and Sirius still hadn't moved or spoken.

"No, I…" Sirius hesitated. _Maybe he won't mind if I sleep here. I stayed with him after the last two full moons, and I've never slept better. And full moon's coming up again soon, so maybe... It can't hurt just to _ask_, can it?_

"Siri?" Remus sounded worried now.

"Can I – I mean, would it be all right with you if I – do you mind if I stay here?" Sirius blurted all in one breath.

"What?"

Sirius could hear the confusion in Remus's tone.

"The full moon's soon," he tried to explain. "And it's cold in my bed, by the window," he waved vaguely in the proper direction, "but it's warm here, with you, and I just thought…"

"Oh," was all Remus said.

Sirius ploughed on, hands still moving of their own accord. "So I just thought I could sleep here tonight, but if you're still upset with me, or –"

"No, no, I'm not upset with you, Siri." Remus had caught Sirius's frantically gesturing hands in his own. "It's fine. If you want to stay, I mean. I understand. With the cold. I get cold. So, yes. If you – you can stay. If you want to. I don't mind. If you want to."

"Oh," said Sirius. Then, "Um. Oh."

The covers rustled as they both settled down, Sirius crawling between the sheets to curl up close to his friend. He wrapped his arms around the smaller boy, burying his nose in the tawny hair and inhaling the scent of Remus's shampoo.

"G'night, Re," Sirius mumbled.

Remus covered the arms around his waist with his own. "G'night, Siri," he whispered back.

Sirius snuggled closer and sighed, eyes already closed. Within moments, he had fallen fast asleep.

**END**

**A/N:** Ah, the end of another side story. I'm actually starting to run out of ideas for these, but I enjoy writing them, so if there's anything in ToTP that you want explained more, or events mentioned but never seen, let me know, and I'll see what I can do. So, anyway, this is being posted now as a little something to tide everyone over until I get the next chapter of… something… finished. Review and let me know what you think of it!


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